My Journey into Prison
By Ben Polhemus |
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Eight years ago when I graduated college I thought I would be a youth pastor for life. I thought I would be one who would always stay young, hip, and cool. After my wife had our third child I didn’t feel young, I definitely didn’t feel hip, and I just wanted to survive say nothing about being cool. I was feeling burned out and I stepped down from my job as a youth pastor from a mega church seeker sensitive church to become a volunteer associate pastor in a church plant. For the last few years of my life I had felt wandering aimlessly.
My profession now is selling used books online. That is how I make money. I felt a desire for ministry, working in a church plant wasn’t any more fulfilling than being a youth pastor. I knew there was calling on my life to do some sort of ministry but I just couldn’t find my niche. I had always done much better with trouble makers, and un-churched kids than the normal youth group kids.
Two years ago I had the opportunity to visit a man in a maximum-security prison in Indiana. The man was a former pastor who had made a huge mistake in his life and was now spending a great deal of time in prison. I remember the conversation I had with him. He told me how many people come in and try to get the inmates saved. He then told me it wasn’t that they needed to be introduced to Jesus but rather taught how to live for Him in prison. I later read a study that 70% of the inmates in this prison were professing Christians. I thought these people are very interesting but someone else will help them learn how to follow Jesus. I am just a little white boy from the Vermont hill country.
In December of this year I had bought out a used book store and had quite a few Bibles that I wanted to give to people who needed them. The prison chaplain from the facility I had earlier visited went to the church plant I was part of. I went up and asked him if he could use the Bibles. His response was “would you be willing to teach a purpose driven life class at the prison?” I thought about it until the end of the service and agreed.
I had all sorts of expectations going into the first class. I thought I will have a few guys in a room with a guard next to me. I get there the first night there are 59 guys in the class and no one in there to protect me. I later found out that about 75% of the inmates in this prison have been convicted of murder. I have to admit I was excited/fearful the first night. Many of the inmates in my class are professing Christians. The average stay for these men is 40 years inside this facility. As I have found out over the past weeks of this class, this is their life, some will never get out, and they are trying to make the most of it in prison.
I have learned much more about faith, hope, and life from them then they could ever learn from me. I made a statement the first night “many would say this is a place without hope.” One of the inmates came up and corrected me. He said “If we didn’t have hope, we would all commit suicide. We have to hope in order to survive.” In the first class I had. I asked the question when have you seen Jesus through someone else? This gentlemen in the front row said I have a story of when I have seen Jesus. This man went on to say this.
“I am in jail for my part in a murder. I was in the county lock up soon after my arrest. I was waiting for some of my friends to visit me and the guard came up to get me and said I had a visitor. I went down to the visiting room and it was one where there was glass and phones on either side. I looked down the row and saw the only one without an inmate with a visitor was this little old lady. I didn’t recognize her but I sat down and picked up the phone. She called me by name, and I said yes. She said you don’t know me but I am your victim’s grandma. I just wanted to come and visit you and tell you I forgive you. That is when I saw Jesus in someone else."
I didn’t know what to say. I was shocked I wasn’t expecting a story quite like that. He later told me that conversation is never going to leave him and really changed his life.
I had told the class that my wife and mother were both scared for me to go into this prison. A week later this older gentleman came up to me after the class and said “so how did the conversation with your wife go after last week’s class?” I smiled and told him that I told my wife there was nothing to worry about. Then I started crying, I am not an emotional sort and I was embarrassed. All I could tell him was I am sorry. I was sorry for all of the preconceived ideas I had about people in prison, especially these men. They were all convicted of horrific crimes. After spending time with them I could see Jesus in them. These men had hope in Jesus and knew His grace more than I could ever even imagine. I had been a little arrogant in thinking I could give them right answers to help them solve their problems.
I have begun to see what it means for them to be the church. Last week I gave them an essay test on the first 10 chapters of the purpose driven life book. I saw so many well thought through answers that demonstrated their desire to live for God. One paper mentioned how they were so thrilled and believed God had a plan for Him no matter what, another mentioned how he was working on surrendering everything he had to God. It doesn’t matter the setting we all struggle with the core issues of following Jesus. There surroundings and circumstances are so much different than mine but what we both have in common is our desires to serve ourselves instead of God.
I am worried about these men. What happens when they get out of prison? Will they be accepted in churches and fellowships? Will people view them with the same eyes I did? Will they be seen only for the mistakes they made or will they be seen for the people they have become? I feel very passionately for both these men and all the other millions of men and women across this country that are incarcerated. As the church, how can we help them individually and also as they try to develop communities of faith? I want people to see them through the same eyes God does.
Ben Polhemus and His wife Jill have three wonderful children Kyle, Ellyse, and Ayden. They currently reside in Valpariaso Indiana. |
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Dear Ben, My name is Kelly and I have two sons who were both diagnosed with MD duchenes. My oldest is 7 and youngest is 1 1/2 years old. I am a christian and know without a doubt it is God's will to heal my children. When my oldest son, Curtis, was diagnosed with MD, I questioned God and said "God, I know You heal but do you heal people with MD?" It was about a month later when God sent a man (Gene Summers) to our church. Gene Summers gave his testimony of how God healed him of MD-duchenes. It was an eye opener to realize who God is and how He loves His children. I was in the nursery that night and did not know Gene was even there or what his testimony was about. I later was informed about him and got a cd of that night's sermon. Since then, he has been back two times. Since then my other son was diagnosed this year. Gene Summers has prayed for both of them. I know without any doubt they are both healed. God has lead me to read several books including one that is my favorite "How to Heal the Sick" by Charles and Frances Hunter (this book has built my faith up so much). My sister has found information on DoctorYourself.com that has helped me understand what causes MD and how it can be treated. I know God can heal instantly and how sometimes HE also uses other means of healing (such as vitamins, our diet, etc...) I now have been giving my children vitamins and herbs that are helping. God may very well use this to restore their muscles where they need to be. Either way they are healed. 1 Peter 2:24 says "He Himslef bore our sins in His body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness: by HIS WOUNDS you were HEALED. I will be praying for your son and will stand in agreement for his healing. Fell free to contact me either by e-mail (tstrawn1946@comcast.net) which is my mother's email or you and your wife can feel free to call 615-397-8846. I am located in Nashville, TN.
May God bless you and your family!!!
Ben, I'm proud of you... Keep the faith, brother. McCosker
BEN, I LOVED THE ARTICLE, MY HUSBAND AND I ARE INVOLVED IN A FAITH BASED INIATIVE IN A LOCAL PRISON HERE IN OHIO; WHERE WE HELP CHRISTIAN INMATES DEVELOP A PLAN OVER A 12 MONTH PERIOD TO RECONNECT TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY AND DEVELOP A SUPPORT WITH LOCAL PASTORS AND CHURCHES PRIOR TO THEIR RELEASE FROM PRISON. THESE MEN ARE SOME OF THE MOST GENUINE CHRISTIANS I HAVE EVER MET AND AM PROUD TO BE A SMALL PART OF THEIR LIVES. I AM PRAYING THAT GOD WILL SHOW US HOW TO MINISTER TO THEM AFTER THEIR RELEASE ALSO.
As a correctional chaplain for 4 decades and the founder of a chaplain placing ministry,I am absolutely humbled everyday by how serious God is with the Samaritans of our society.
I am in tears. Thank you for reminding me that it truly is a blessing to see Jesus in everyone!
Hi Ben, Thank you for sharing your self & story!!I know first hand of how incarcerated individuals can touch the soul....my journey & experiences have been/are similar to yours. I never anticipated my life's work would be advocacy for incarcerated individuals, yet I am sure it is part of my mission. Thank you again for opening your heart to our fellow christians.....God works in mysterious ways!! Respectfully, Joan
Ben, I wish everyone could have your compassion. If we all would slow down and listen to God's calling on our lives, think what a wonderful place this would be! "Keep on keepin' on!"
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May God bless you and your family!!!