Every Christian has a testimony of faith. Good or bad, better or worse – incidents, people, places and times all lend a hand in bringing us to a personal understanding of God and his Son. For those who grow up in the church, specific denominational characteristics have a way of both nurturing and twisting the truth. It’s not necessarily wrong to have a unique bent on the Bible, but when you begin to think that your church has all the right answers…then in my opinion denominations cease to serve their “glory in differences” purpose. Windows of expression always seem to find a way of getting boarded up!

I grew up as a fundamentalist. Growing up as a fundamentalist didn’t always mean you had friends in church! In fact, it seemed like the more hard-lined you became – the less friends you tended to have. Everybody seemed to have an invisible checklist for deciding if you were “in” or “out” of the church club. Having held some “doctrines” that didn’t always garner the popular vote…I know what it’s like to be voted off the island. Still, when you’re trained to only recognize your “brand” of valid belief systems it’s hard to put down the measuring stick.

So although I was always being told that my denomination was the closest to what the Bible meant when it spoke about “true churches” – I was slowly being confronted with other beautiful Christians who were separated from me by many branches and limbs down the church history family tree! And the more “different” Christians I had the pleasure of loving, the more I found myself straying beyond my own spiritual gated community.

Of course my intentions were not always so pure at first. I still wanted to argue and debate the “whys” behind their traditions. I just couldn’t let it go – the smug factor that is! But it took feeling rejected from my own faith family to realize that there is a bigger Christian world out there! God softened my stubborn heart through authentic relationships with “other” Christians to show me where I had thought and acted wrong about all of these years. (It was sad, cool, pathetic, humbling, shattering and exhilarating all at once!)

All of a sudden it seemed like the blinds I had been peeking through for so long were completely torn off the windows to my spiritual awareness. For once I could “see” and what I saw was both breathtaking and scary. When you finally realize one day that it’s not about “us” versus “them” anymore – freedom in Christ takes on a whole new dimension.

But when you begin to experiment with other practices, or learn about other

© Svitlana10 | Dreamstime.com

denominations… people from your “tradition” will get angry.

And the hardest thing I am learning to deal with (especially when I hate confrontation) is the fact that not everybody is comfortable with “living in mutuality.” And it’s just so easy to say that I’m right and you’re wrong and start the whole vicious cycle of self-righteousness all over again!

The people I have shared my new found freedom with question my assumption that I can live in “harmony” with believers from all different backgrounds. They wonder how long I (and the thousands of others like me) can try and push the envelope before we find ourselves outside of the local churches we live in.

Is it really possible to walk the middle ground? Can I give up some of my freedom in order to preserve the unity of those I share my locale with? Can others who refuse to live in mutuality still make room for those of us who are searching? Is it really that wrong to see new churches started on the basis of differing views or even worship practices? On the otherhand, is it better to stick it out in the place you find yourself in – ready to serve God on his terms?

I don’t know the answers…and I am learning to embrace the uncertainty of asking the questions. But I do think we all need to be willing to get messy in the process of seeking and searching, because NONE of us have it all figured out yet! Maybe that is just the beginning of learning to live in harmony. 

Melissa Hedden is a special education middle school teacher and almost-confirmed Anglican. She lives with her husband, Shawn, in Hanford, CA. They are expecting their first child, Ryan, in January.