Rediscovering Centeredness
By M. Scott Rogers |
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As the economic, occupational, and society conundrums of the modern age increase, I find myself searching for "old wisdom." Words written or spoken by men and women of renown, of sturdy faith and resilient belief in something more, something better.
This latest search brought me to Henri Nouwen, a man I consider to be a classic author in spiritual matters. In truth, my stumbling upon The Genesee Diary was meant to answer a more global question - what has the Church become? Instead, I've happened upon a treasure trove of insight into my own insecurities, my own doubts, angers and fears. It is this discovery that lead me to a new question - what is my purpose in this global community? In truth, this isn't really a new question. This question has nagged at me for years in subtle forms and fashions.
And how does one answer such a profound, unscripted, intimate question? Nouwen refers to an outdated, near forgotten practice known as "nepsis." He states, "Nepsis means mental sobriety, spiritual attention directed to God, watchfulness in keeping the bad thoughts away, and creating free space for prayer." Like any good reader-writer, I searched for a more authentic definition. The search yielded only the word "hesychasm," a Greek term for "mental sobriety." Yet tied to it was all this stuff about the fathers of the Christian faith and how they practiced times of solitude, times of environmental fasting, an escaping from the daily pace and noise of life for purpose of centering themselves.
Yoga supposedly is a means to do this. So is Tai-chi. In fact, every major religion offers a way to exit the restricting norms of routine and purge oneself of all the clatter. Except, I don't want to empty or purge myself. I want to find, to discover, to increase my understanding, my focus. Which is where nepsis differs from these other forms of mindless meditation. Nepsis takes the person towards God, towards relationship in the Creator. Meditation, in most forms, is a form of reclusiveness.
Which brings me back to my search. Searching outside myself is only profitable insofar as I have clear and open perspective to do so. “Creating a free place” is like clearing away the clutter on a desk or kitchen counter or workbench. It allows for the writer, the chef, the artist to see the pieces clearly, individually and yet gives way to imagining them conformed together in the finished product.
The irony lies in the fact that as followers of Christ and the principles of scripture there is so much we want to hold onto, so much we refuse to let go. And yet, as I etch out nepsis moments in my daily or weekly life, I find that some of these aren’t what I thought they were. Like an antique found in the attic that is really nothing more than a cheap replica. The thought, the desire for the thing to have value is what keeps it stored away, not it’s true worth.
Nouwen’s book covers seven months he spent at a Trappist monastery in New York State. With each entry marking a day, I have discovered in a few weeks time, I have only read 34 entries. Many of them more than once. All because of that sentence about nepsis.  | | ©Andris Piebalgs | Dreamstime.com |
I started a journal to pair with reading this book. It’s the first such journal I have consistently written in. What strikes me, is the fact that journaling is too a lost practice among many Christians. Which has prompted me to find the reason for disappearance of these disciplines. The only answer I can find is the trend to become more free-spirited in our religious pursuits, trading what benefits us for what feels better, what is more enticing. The idea of prolong stretches of silence in a church service equates to the unexpected interruption of a blockbuster movie at the theater. We leave, we check out.
Moments of silence, of stillness offer us the opportunity to reflect, to consider, to digest what we’ve seen, heard, and emotionally felt. Instead we tend towards the side of annoyance, disparaged by the halt in “entertainment” which what so many evangelical churches have become. I know they, the pastors and church staff, mean well. Still, how can I really implement anything they teach if I don’t quiet myself long enough to hear the expressed and implied meaning of the message?
As the church faces the same crisis of the Western world - economic collapse, immoral and unconstitutional legislation, and immediate gratification - we find the trends tipping back towards a renewed interest in how those before us coped with their own changing world. And like pivotal times past, we as a body will begin to bring our own version of these practices back into use, proffering them to the unstable, uncertain and lost. Participating in them ourselves may be the means to understanding our times, ourselves and our own purpose in this ever expanding and diverse community in which we live. Then, perhaps, we can find that centeredness we so desperately need.
Long before becoming a parent of two young children, M. Scott Rogers pursued a life that would define himself and his desire for others understand their own identity and purpose. As he continues this pursuit, he continues to write about identity – as a father, a husband and as a member of the body of Christ.
Currently, his latest work regarding men's responsibility to be fathers to the fatherless can be found on Burnside Writer's Collective. |
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